Greetings earthlings, it's me again.
This is the final blog entry for LMS and the topic i'll be touching on is Self-esteem.
Now, what is self-esteem?
Self-esteem is our convictions about our value and self-worth. Self-esteem embodies concepts like self-respect, self-awareness and self-confidence.
So how do we know whether we have a healthy(high) self-esteem or a low self-esteem?
If you often find yourselve
-thinking that you are unworthy of love, friendship, family..
-feeling that you don't deserve happiness..
-always worrying about how people think of you..whether they will like you..
-thinking to yourself that you are a complete failure..
etc.etc.etc
These feelings of doubt and unworthiness shows that you have a low self-esteem
On the other hand
If you are..
-happy being you
-know that you are loved
-mostly unaffected by people's criticism of you
-know that you can be successful if you want to
-hardly worries about what people think about you
etc.etc.etc
This shows that you have a healthy self-esteem
There are many self-esteem tests that you can find online and infact, i've done one and this is what it says..
"Your results indicate that your sense of self-worth is very healthy. You rarely, if ever, put yourself down or fall victim to self-depreciating statements. There are certain attitudes and beliefs that have been found to contribute to and "feed" a positive self-image, and you appear to have most of them. Examples would be believing that you deserve to be loved or respected, believing that you’re good enough for someone, and focusing on your good qualities rather than only your perceived faults. While you may not necessarily feel all of these things all of the time, your opinion of yourself is quite positive. This is a healthy attitude to have, as a poor sense of self-worth can hold you back from pursuing your goals, cause you unnecessary stress, and even become self-fulfilling prophecies. "
I am very happy with the results and i know it is true. I do have healthy self-esteem.
My reason?
If i didn't, i would have been in depression already.
I have a group of very close friends who enjoy criticising and insulting others, whether it's your looks, your height, your grades, almost everything. I've been called short (which i know i am), fat (which i know i am NOT), stupid (even though i did better then all of them in Olvls haha) among others. But despite all these criticisms, we remained close friends because i know they just enjoy saying it and not because they really think im fat and stupid, maybe just short, the undeniable truth. But so what if i'm short? I can't let that get me down, or any further down... hahaha And since i already know nothing good comes out of their mouth, all the more i shouldn't let it affect me! And besides, despite their uncorrigible-terrible-vegetable stinking mouth, deep down they do really care for me. I know that.
Perhaps i should be thankful to this special group of friends. Even though the critisms may have hurt at some point of time(i am human too you know) but as time goes by, i have slowly become immune to it. Now i am able to take criticisms as a pinch of salt, block them out, ignore them...
because i know that sometimes you can't change people's opinions of you, just like how you can't force someone to like you, but what you can do is let it be and love yourself even more. :D
Good self esteem is important because it lets you feel proud of yourself and what you can do, it gives you the power to respect yourself, to love yourself for who you are even when you make mistakes. It gives you the courage to voice your opinions and make decisions and do things you've never done before. It gives you strength to face your challenges and to recover from failures and disappointments. It gives you the freedom to exercise independence in thoughts and actions and lastly, it gives you the ability to communicate with other people and in maintaining meaningful relationships.
There are so many benefits in having good/healthy self-esteem, so what are you waiting for?
But how...?
You can practice self-affirmation, by making a list of things you are good at and looking at it to remind yourself that you are not a failure. Personally, i look at my Olvl certificate. HAHA Just kidding!
Secondly, you can deal with your negative beliefs. When you hear negative voices in your head telling you your not good enough, not thin enough, not tall enough, not smart enough etc. you should just shut it out. By doing so, you take away the power away from these comments that affects you.
Thirdly, positive thinking. For example when people tell me i'm short, i tell them the advantages of being short instead. There are two sides to a coin, all you have to do is focus on the postive and ignore the negative.
Fourthly, visualise. Imagine yourself getting top in the whole school for Olvls. Imagine yourself representing Singapore in the olympics 2008. Visualise, let your imagination run wild! By doing so, you create positive thoughts and images of success that will help boost your confidence, lift your performance and force out the negative thoughts!
Fifthly, do anchoring, a technique that makes use of associations in order to help us cope with situations that might make us feel nervous, fearful or self-doubts. For example sometimes when i feel that i'm being left out by a group of friends or something, i'll read the birthday cards/christmas cards that they've given me in the past and remind myself that this is probably not their intention to ignore me, it just happens.
Sixth-ly, surround yourself with positive and supportive people. Don't hang with the emo kid! Hang out with positive-thinking happy-go-lucky take-life-as-it-is people!
Seven-ly, take your time to enjoy life.
And lastly, accept yourself for who you are, and remember that there are things about yourself that you can't change, such as your skin colour so don't fret about it!
All in all, focus on the good things that you do and all your great qualities, learn to love and accept yourself for who you are, and realising that you are valuable and important helps your self-esteem to shine!
And a last tip from me!
Look into the mirror every morning and tell yourself, "I love you" and as you turn around, tell yourself "at least someone loves me" =P
This will DEFINITELY boost your self-esteem!
credits: http://kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/emotion/self_esteem.html
http://www.queendom.com/queendom_tests/transfer
our lecture notes
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Self-Awareness
Hello people lol Frankly speaking, this is the first time i'm blogging for an assignment and it feels weird, and a little stressful because well, IT IS GRADED! Okay here's a short introduction about me before i start on our topic =) My name is meixuan, you can call me mx, max or xuan. I was from Deyi secondary school and I'm in Business Studies now. Okay now, back to business hahaha
Self-awareness is about how much you know about yourself and what is happening around you, such as the way others are seeing you etc. And one way we can increase our self-awareness is by using the Johari Window.
According to the notes given to us, The Johari Window highlights the areas of self-awareness, the perception of self by others, and our openness to self-disclosure. Here is my Johari Window. Please have a look.
Actually under the PUBLIC SELF, this website only allows us to choose 5 character traits that best describe ourselves and that is why there's only 5 but some of the traits in the BLIND SPOT area are also known to me, it's just the way it is programmed =X You guys can contribute to my johari window or make your own! It's really cool!
So as you can see, My PRIVATE SELF area has nothing in it! So the majority agrees with me about what i already know about myself. This shows that i'm quite open to others, and that people see me as what i am, which is good. As for the UNKNOWN AREA, now i know about it haha
The Johari Window not only improves your self-awareness, it can also help you improve as a person. For example, in my blind spot, some people think that i'm tense, so now that i know that, when i'm out i can try to relax more, joke more etc. so people will enjoy my company more! And this also helps improve my relations with other people!
So what are some of the factors affecting our self-image?
Firstly there's first impression. Within the first few seconds you meet someone new, your actually evaluated. They look at your body language, the way you speak, the way your dressed etc. For example, you walk past a coffee shop and you see a uncle wearing singlet and shorts with his legs on the table and a cigarette in between his fingers. What will you think of him? Probably as an old man living off his family, someone useless etc.
But do take note that first impressions are not always accurate, it is more of a psychology thing, people just take first impressions as a base. And since its first impression, the image you give off at that time would die off easily as you got to know the person better. Using the example above, you might eventually find out that the old man is an actor, and in reality he's a nice man, working as a supporting actor to raise a family of 5. Thus your impression of him change from a good for nothing to a hardworking man who loves his family dearly. Get it?
Okay the factors that affects your first impression eventually affects your self-image as others get to know you better, such as the way you speak and body language. For example, you want others to know you as a serious person, but if while your around your always joking and laughing and you can never sit still, do you think others would still see you as a serious person? Of course not.
And all this boils down to the fact that being self-aware is important, because then you can present yourself appropriately and create the impression you want, which improves your self-image. And when you have a better self-image, communicating and interacting with others would be a lot more effective.
Other then that, what are the other importance of self-awareness? Being self-aware helps us work towards becoming what we want to be. Being self-aware, you would know your strengths and weaknesses, so in achieving your goal, you can harness on your strengths and improve on your weaknesses, which help bring you a step closer to your goal.
But how can we improve on our self-awareness?
1)By taking some time to evaluate ourselves, engage in reflections and by observing ourselves
2)By being more open to others and seeking feed-back
3)By interacting with diverse individuals, because different people see things differently and by doing so, you get a wider range of understanding about yourself
4)By comparing yourself with others. Why is he/she more popular then me? What is it that he/she has that i don't?
Yes, by being more self-aware can improve our self-image, and the way others see us, and why wouldn't we want that?
Credits: our notes
Self-awareness is about how much you know about yourself and what is happening around you, such as the way others are seeing you etc. And one way we can increase our self-awareness is by using the Johari Window.
According to the notes given to us, The Johari Window highlights the areas of self-awareness, the perception of self by others, and our openness to self-disclosure. Here is my Johari Window. Please have a look.
Arena(known to self and others) cheerful, confident, extroverted, friendly, witty | Blind Spot(known only to others) able, adaptable, bold, calm, caring, clever, complex, dependable, energetic, giving, happy, helpful, idealistic, independent, ingenious, intelligent, introverted, kind, knowledgeable, loving, modest, organised, patient, proud, reflective, relaxed, religious, responsive, self-conscious, sentimental, shy, silly, spontaneous, tense, trustworthy |
Façade(known only to self) | Unknown(known to nobody) accepting, brave, dignified, logical, mature, nervous, observant, powerful, quiet, searching, self-assertive, sensible, sympathetic, warm, wise |
Dominant Traits
64% of people agree that mxiscool is friendly
All Percentages
able (16%) accepting (0%) adaptable (24%) bold (8%) brave (0%) calm (4%) caring (4%) cheerful (48%) clever (16%) complex (16%) confident (28%) dependable (4%) dignified (0%) energetic (24%) extroverted (24%) friendly (64%) giving (8%) happy (16%) helpful (4%) idealistic (8%) independent (16%) ingenious (4%) intelligent (16%) introverted (8%) kind (8%) knowledgeable (8%) logical (0%) loving (4%) mature (0%) modest (4%) nervous (0%) observant (0%) organised (4%) patient (4%) powerful (0%) proud (8%) quiet (0%) reflective (4%) relaxed (4%) religious (4%) responsive (8%) searching (0%) self-assertive (0%) self-conscious (8%) sensible (0%) sentimental (20%) shy (8%) silly (24%) spontaneous (24%) sympathetic (0%) tense (8%) trustworthy (16%) warm (0%) wise (0%) witty (20%)
Created by the Interactive Johari Window on 1.5.2008, using data from 25 respondents.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view mxiscool's full data.
You can make your own Johari Window, or view mxiscool's full data.
Actually under the PUBLIC SELF, this website only allows us to choose 5 character traits that best describe ourselves and that is why there's only 5 but some of the traits in the BLIND SPOT area are also known to me, it's just the way it is programmed =X You guys can contribute to my johari window or make your own! It's really cool!
So as you can see, My PRIVATE SELF area has nothing in it! So the majority agrees with me about what i already know about myself. This shows that i'm quite open to others, and that people see me as what i am, which is good. As for the UNKNOWN AREA, now i know about it haha
The Johari Window not only improves your self-awareness, it can also help you improve as a person. For example, in my blind spot, some people think that i'm tense, so now that i know that, when i'm out i can try to relax more, joke more etc. so people will enjoy my company more! And this also helps improve my relations with other people!
So what are some of the factors affecting our self-image?
Firstly there's first impression. Within the first few seconds you meet someone new, your actually evaluated. They look at your body language, the way you speak, the way your dressed etc. For example, you walk past a coffee shop and you see a uncle wearing singlet and shorts with his legs on the table and a cigarette in between his fingers. What will you think of him? Probably as an old man living off his family, someone useless etc.
But do take note that first impressions are not always accurate, it is more of a psychology thing, people just take first impressions as a base. And since its first impression, the image you give off at that time would die off easily as you got to know the person better. Using the example above, you might eventually find out that the old man is an actor, and in reality he's a nice man, working as a supporting actor to raise a family of 5. Thus your impression of him change from a good for nothing to a hardworking man who loves his family dearly. Get it?
Okay the factors that affects your first impression eventually affects your self-image as others get to know you better, such as the way you speak and body language. For example, you want others to know you as a serious person, but if while your around your always joking and laughing and you can never sit still, do you think others would still see you as a serious person? Of course not.
And all this boils down to the fact that being self-aware is important, because then you can present yourself appropriately and create the impression you want, which improves your self-image. And when you have a better self-image, communicating and interacting with others would be a lot more effective.
Other then that, what are the other importance of self-awareness? Being self-aware helps us work towards becoming what we want to be. Being self-aware, you would know your strengths and weaknesses, so in achieving your goal, you can harness on your strengths and improve on your weaknesses, which help bring you a step closer to your goal.
But how can we improve on our self-awareness?
1)By taking some time to evaluate ourselves, engage in reflections and by observing ourselves
2)By being more open to others and seeking feed-back
3)By interacting with diverse individuals, because different people see things differently and by doing so, you get a wider range of understanding about yourself
4)By comparing yourself with others. Why is he/she more popular then me? What is it that he/she has that i don't?
Yes, by being more self-aware can improve our self-image, and the way others see us, and why wouldn't we want that?
Credits: our notes
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